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bang

new el jay. [14 Sep 2005|08:00pm]
____highv0ltage
____highv0ltage
____highv0ltage

its just temporary. until i think of something cooler.

5 your dead. bang

[14 Jun 2005|06:24pm]
Name 20 friends, in no order!
01. Laurie
02. Sam
03. Jamie
04. Lisa
05. Haley
06. Keli
07. Dessa
08. Brittany R
09. Audrey
10. lindsey
11. Danielle
12. Danny
13. Marya
14. Nathan
15. Sierra
16. Kelsey
17. Matt C
18. Angela
19. Jayme
20. carly

A. Who is #8 going out with?
uhh im not sure if shes going out with that someone.
B. Is #9 a boy or a girl?
female.
C. Would #11 and #2 make a cute couple?
sam and danielle. it would be weird. but cute in a weird way.
D. How about #18 and #4?
both girls but lisa and angela. ohh baby. JUST KIDDDING
E. What grade is #17 in?
9th.
F. When was the last time you talked to #12?
today. at like lunch.
G. What is #6's favorite band?
i don't know..
H. Does #1 have any siblings?
YEAH! AJ
I. Would you ever date #3?
uhh it would be super weird, and i cant imagine it.
J. Would you ever punch #7?
NO! i mean as a joke, but never being serious.
K. Is #16 single?
i think so....
L. What's #15's last name?
saunders.
M. What's #5's middle name?
Hills
N. What's #10's fantasy?
andy roddick. anytime anywhere.
O. Would #14 and #19 make a good couple?
ew. jayme and nathan. weirdddd.
P. What school does #20 go to?
VHS.
Q. Tell me a random fact about #11?
shes hecka cool.
R. And #1:
shes super super nice. and i love her, and shes like my best friend.
S. And #3:
he has awesome taste in music.
T. And #2:
hes always there for me.
U. Have you ever had a crush on #16?
nope.
V. Where does #9 live?
West Seattle.
W. What's #4's favorite color?
all shades of green and pink. i think.
X. Would you make out with #3?
probally not.
Y. Are #5 & #6 best friends?
they are friends.
Z. Does #8 like #19?
yeah they are also friends.
a. Does #10 have any pets?
i dunno.
b. Is #12 older than you?
yeah. his birthday is in august and mine is in january.
c. Give #13 a hug?
of course. i give everyone hugs.

4 your dead. bang

[08 Jun 2005|03:38pm]
I realized i dont update enough. so i am gonna try and update at least once a week. lifes so un eventful. i really wish that lindsy would realize that I am not taking laurie away from her. and i am so sick of people getting mad at me for talking to other people. I am trying to be there for haley, but she doesnt respond. its like shes mad at me too. gosh i cannot wait for summer to be over. i really dont want everyone to hate me. and thats what i am feeling like. i miss lisa. i miss haley. i miss all of my friends. i guess it is all my fault. all my entries are the same. stupid and redundant.
i had a really weird dream about jason and all my friends last night it was sooo weirdddd. it was like him jamie and josh all came over and like brittany and lisa were at my house and i couldnt find clothes so i couldnt see them. it was so weird.
godd tomorrow me and laurie are first to present our project. i really dont want to present. i am gonna freak out. yeserday i cried in foront of the whole entire class. i actually was about to die. we had to read poems in front of the class with our armor, and i actually fail at poetry. and then carol made me read it and i actually burst into tears, and i read it. then when i finished it was completely silent, you could have heard a pin drop, and then i sat down. i was mortified.
gahh im so mad at laurie, shes so argh. i love her to death, but i cannot stand people who act diffrent in front of their boyfriends. i dont think that she ment to hurt me but what she said actually hurt my feelings.
haha maury is so funny. i love this show.
moving sucks. i have to take down all my pictures, all my stuff, it reall sucks. i have to downsize all my clothes and like make sure my house is spotless. ahh i am so bipolar about this move. im excited in some ways, but then like not at the same time. ahh.

goodnews: Schools out so soon!!

8 your dead. bang

[30 May 2005|08:56pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

im moving.
off island this summer. god i dont even want to think about it. i really am attached to this piece of shit island. i really actually dont hate it. its so hard having relaters coming over to here and telling my mom how much our house is worth when its worth so much more to me. I want supposed to tell anyone at kelis because it wasnt like set in stone, but dear god, its so on. my mom said i can get a car and all that stuff if we move, fucking bribary. i cant fucking tell her the fucking truth about what im feeling she will only get mad. she keeps on telling me to look on the positive side, but what is that, gettting really distant with my friends? dear god thats all i can think about, if im already drifting with all my friends like haley, lisa, angela, and jayme then what am i gonna do when they are all on island and im off it. I guess its a fucking wake up call, its my fault that i dont nurture friendships, fuck. i get a jetta when i move, i have moved every four years, thats sick. i just have my room the way i like it, and now i have to tear it up and move off island to some fucking rental house. then somehow not get attached to that house, then move again to a house that they want to buy. holy shit. why do i have this pit of dread. i just have a really bad feeling. i know that i will be closer to like dessa nad laurie and lindsey and all them but i would rather be on island and have the friends that i have had for my whole life. i really am scared of change. if you know me at all you would know that I hate change, and this is so big. im going into the ciity. no more being an islander, no more being one of the people that have lived on this island their whole lives.i dont want to loose my friends, yeah i will be like comuting. but i know i wont be as close with them. maybe im being over dramatic. fuck i really have no clue. so well goodbye little hippie town, it was a nice.

1 your dead. bang

[11 May 2005|03:47pm]
Im retarded.Collapse )

3 your dead. bang

[11 Apr 2005|02:19pm]
[ mood | excited ]

haleys party was a blastCollapse )

5 your dead. bang

[30 Mar 2005|07:16pm]
i hate dances, I hate the drama, and i hate being alone. I hate how i can have so many people get my hopes up saying that jason will say yea, and then he doesnt say anything. i hate how i have to be the bad guy. i hate how i have to uninvite my best friend from something that i wanted her to come to. I hate fucking cunts that need to fuck themselves. i hate how i wish someone would just ask me to go to semi formal, even just as friends. i wish that i actually was considered pretty, god you guys can call me pretty all you want it makes no diffrence. you guys are required to say things like that, thats why i hang around you, your nice to me. i wish that i could go back in time, make it so that kaydi, Brittany, and Erika had no reason to make my life hell. I wish that i had to courage to stand up to people, but i dont. i really want to actually be myself and not worry what people will think. but i care, all too much. i really want to be nice, it just doesnt happen. i really wish that people would leave me alone. and not pick on me, target me for a fucking mistake. i wish that i could be cool enough to be invited to something, and not just invited beuase i 'bring the girls'. i really wish that poeple would leave me messages online when i put up an away message, thats just begging for attention. i really want to have people comment on my entries. but that doesnt happen. i dont think that theres even a point in me having a lj. i have my pen and paper, and i dont wish for comments on that. just my satisfaction. god. im deleteing this. i give up.

bye.

bang

[28 Mar 2005|10:12pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

gawd i love themCollapse )

2 your dead. bang

[26 Mar 2005|11:44pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

carlys partyCollapse )

8 your dead. bang

promotion [18 Mar 2005|12:40am]
promotionCollapse )

bang

[14 Mar 2005|05:01pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

On your current playlist, hit shuffle and pick the first thirty-five (or fifty?) songs on the list (no matter how cheesy or embarrassing).
- Write down one line (or two) of the song. Try to avoid putting the song title in the line.
- Have your friends comment and see if they know the songs. (NO CHEATING!)
- When someone guesses correctly, strike out the line and list the correct name of the song next to it. (don't strike out the line until the song's ARTIST and NAME have both been guessed correctly!)

1. adding the breeze to the summer nights.
2. the sent of your skin and some foreign flowers, tied to a brick sweet as a song, the years have been short but the days have been long.
3.i got to take it on the other side, take it on the other side.
4. and i will sing a lullaby, golden slumbers fill your eyes, smiles will wake you when you rise, sleep pretty darlin dont you cy.
5. dont laugh at me, dont call me names, dont get your pleasure from my pain, in gods eyes were all the same, someday we'll all have perfect wings, dont laugh at me.
6.im sorry, and im sorry, in case I dont tell you, till december im sorry 2004...
7. this is your last chance to find a gogo dancer, disco now
8. i ate the wedding cake till the whole damn thing was gone
10. i never had noone i could count on i've been let down so many times.
11. feeding off the souls that are lost and found.
12. i wanna love somebody, love somebody like you.
13. welcome to the fallout, welcome to resistance.
14. people always told me, be carefull what you do, dont go around breaking young girls hearts
15. 1 and 2 and 3 and 4, and 1 and 2 and 3 and 4...
16. you where hiding in a jar, now my mind is gone completely, now take off the lid and there you are.
17. they read you cinderlla, you hoped it would come true, that sometime your prince charming would come resuce you.
18. I love rock N' Roll,...
19. I saw fireworks from the freeway, and behind closed eyes i cant make it go away becauae you where born on th e 4th of july, freedom ring.
20. Hit the road jack, and dont you come backkkkk...


shit my i pod froze.

2 your dead. bang

[11 Mar 2005|04:54pm]
cupcakefight.Collapse )

bang

[08 Mar 2005|05:09pm]
[ mood | confused ]

i have been writing in/ reading my regular journal, just becuase its something i dont have to worry about anyone reading. but i was reading it last night, and i decided that i havnt been updating this enough, so heres some exerpts from my regualar diary. goodness i have changed so much, like when i first started writing i was really all depressed and sad, and i look on my more recent entrys and its like lalala i went to the park today.
December 1st, 2004: "...Why would i let a guy alter my life for the worse? why would i let him hurt me so much that i bring myself down to his level? why does he have the power to change who i am and make me someone i'm not?" "...I feel the only person that understands me anymore is jayme, we are both the same but all so diffrent, i feel that we are both trying to be people we arn't, to please people. we want to make people happy but in scarifice to our own happiness, i want to be all these people that i cant be..."
Febuary 1st, 2005 "...its so weird how you don't miss something till its gone. Never knew i would miss someone that i took for granted when i had them..." "...jamie got all blunt with me today, told me to give up, i ended up blocking him, then felt to guilty and decided that i couldnt have him blocked, and i unblocked him."
Febuary 15th,2005 "...I feel like i annoy marya all the time, maybe its just me being retarded." "...I miss the old him, although marya was telling me about how close they where and it made me think that maybe if we were still friends that maybe we would be that close now."
Febuary 21, 2005 "..i am going crazy, im actually about to go insane, im a fucking nutcase, i have snapped, gone crazy...I feel so tied down, like i can't do anything. I hate this..."
March 2nd, 2005 "...I dont even deserve to talk to him, hes like a piece of art, nice to look at but you cant touch, i fell for another sam, this sucks..." "..I feel like i smother people, jamie, jason, marya, etc. i feel like i talk to them too much, or im them too much like i cant let them breathe..." March 7th, 2005 "...I hate it when people show me pity, and i use it as some kind of nourishment, when in reality is a poison that makes the strongest of us weak..." "...I am in awe of your perfection...perfection that only i see."

ok that was lame i know, its just easier to do that than write all about the past like four months.

2 your dead. bang

[23 Feb 2005|06:34pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

tubular pictures from friday. Collapse )

2 your dead. bang

[02 Feb 2005|06:16pm]
[ mood | moody ]

fuckCollapse )

1 your dead. bang

pictures! [14 Jan 2005|08:06am]
threeCollapse )

2 your dead. bang

[10 Jan 2005|06:15pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

I guess i am a whore.
when your own mother thinks that you are doing shit with her boyfriend its disgusting. I dont do shit with old men, sorry. why do i get accused with this all the time? My aunt thinking i do my uncle and now i am 'acting suspicious' with doug, all becasue i took the phone in my room to talk to him about renting napolean dynamite, and my mom gets mad at me every time I bring it up. so i go in my room to talk about it with out her hearing, im disgusted. do i look like a slut? do I act like one? i guess so becaue im doing everyones boyfriends or husbands...watch out. what the hell i havnt even like hugged doug. i guess my moms just being dumb and insecure. but it really really hurts. I am not a whore and i would never do anything to try and break up my mom and doug. I mean yeah dougs cool and all, but im 14 hes 38 why would i even want to do anything with him... holy shit, the sad thing is shes actually mad at me, like before (yes its happened before) she was just like oh brittany you are acting weird around doug... cut it out. and i stopped. and now i am a whore and shes yelling at me through a closed door. why is this night have to be bad. i was gonna ask my mom for money for tolo and like the whole language day.
fuck...

1 your dead. bang

[27 Dec 2004|01:42pm]
[ mood | silly ]

JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. </s>Highly attentive.</b> Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.


oopsies i broke the rules i'm going to hell...

whats your month?Collapse )

8 your dead. bang

[25 Dec 2004|02:07pm]
[ mood | blank ]

I hate reading what other people got I get so jelous. i know my mom tried her hardest but when i see how people got like everything they wanted i feel disapointed. like yeah I got a bunch of stuff and yeah i am happy, but i still feel insignificant. I guess i should be thankful for what i got, and i am maybe its because most of my stuff that i got was like sheets and a bed frame, which where already promised to me i guess i am just being petty.
I got:
a I pod mini
a nine west ipod mini case
a digital camera
a foamy bed pad
a feather bed pad
sheets
a IKEA bed frame
express jeans
a shirt
a healing gradens aromatherapy spray
a handmade scarf
2 manicure sets
Victorias secret pj's
VS slippers
another pair of slippers
a bath set
candles
lavender soap
two earring sets
a BRATZ toothbrush(dont ask)
and lots of candy
i guess that it is alot...just not compared to my friends...
oh well

Ps. anyone want to let me borrow their cds (or you can come over) so i can put them on my i pod? i love you!

6 your dead. bang

[21 Dec 2004|10:42pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Don't you hate how you regret things
don't you hate how you have compete against the prettyest girl in school for a guy
Don't you hate how you feel ok about yourself and then someone ruins it for you
Don't you hate how money is what makes the world go around
Don't you hate that people smoke
Don't you hate how your friends stab you in the back
Don't you hate it when you decide that you are gonna do something and it never happens
Don't you hate how you can love someone so much and they are just like 'meh whatever'
Don't you hate that you can spend hours in front of a mirror and still feel ugly
Don't you hate how you get sick right at the worst moments
Don't you hate how you get placed in really awkward situations
Don't you hate how no matter how nice you are to some peole they are still bitches to you
Don't you hate how you spend hours on something and when you give it to someone they are just like 'oh thanks'
Don't you hate it when you spend lots of money on something and it dissapoints you
Don't you hate how no matter how much you put into a friendship it always seems to deteriate
Don't you hate it when your favorite CD gets scratched
Don't you hate it when you cry for no reason
Don't you hate it when you feel like you can't do anything
Don't you hate it when you feel insignificant
Don't you hate it when you miss a really good episode of the OC
Don't you hate it when your computer freezes
Don't you hate it when you forget a friends Birthday
Don't you hate it when you cry for no reason
Don't you hate it when you realize you had a piece of food in your teeth after you where talking to a really cute guy
Don't you hate it when your parents give you extra chores
don't you hate it when you dissapoint someone
Don't you hate it when you don't feel brave
don't you hate it when you have to speak infront of a class
don't you hate it when you wish you where someone else
Don't you hate it when you feel like you have to change to fit in with someone
don't you hate it when people pester you
don't you hate it when everyone is away on vacation
Don't you hate it when people are dumb.
Don't you hate when people write dumbass random entrys about random shit that they hate

sorry that was a weird entry...
<33 brittany

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